Friday, February 27, 2009

一则关于前总统布什的最新笑话

我们是喜欢看别人的笑话的.尤其是别国的政治人物,比如美国总统.关于美国前总统布什的笑话,我们应该已经听说许多了.今天早上上班路上从广播里又听到了一则,不新鲜,但很好玩.回来还找了下出处,学会了一个英文词.更准确地说,是一个英文缩略词.

湘湘很厉害,听完了就问:这些是几年级的小朋友?


故事是这样的:

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布什已经退下来了,就回到了他的故乡得克萨斯. 这个星期他去了达拉斯, 是克萨斯次于休斯敦的第二大城市的一所小学参观. 中间,布什就随便进了一个教室, 就和蔼可亲地问学生了: 亲爱的同学们,你们知道我是谁吗?教室里一篇寂静,只听到大家的呼吸声.过了一会儿,终于有个学生勇敢地举手回答了:乔治.华盛顿!布什一点都不惊讶,长期处于被看笑话的浪尖上,这点小风小浪算什么.他立马笑着回答到:回答正确.我就是乔治.华盛顿.布什!

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上网google了一下,找到了这则新闻的出处.感情,后来还有一小段:

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然后,布什就到了另一个专门教第二外语的班上(ESL class).布什就开始试图用西班牙语来介绍自己,只可惜,除了听出他浓厚地得克萨斯口音外,学生们脸上面无表情.然后,布什又试了一次,其间还竖起一根中指,哦,不对,是一根中指加上两边的手指,表示W之意.可惜,学生扔是不买他的帐.最后,陪同的小学校长只好亲自用西班牙语把布什介绍给大家.学生恍然大悟,纷纷起笑.布什也笑了.校长也就笑了.如释重负.
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问题:

1.你知道在转载版1里面的POTUS 是什么意思吗?
2.你知道为什么说布什其实很聪明,当他回答说他就是乔治.华盛顿.布什吗?
3.你知道为什么布什要对学生说:你们相信吗,你们也能当总统?
4.你知道去年当胡总书记访问日本一间中文学校时,被问及为什么他要当总书记时的正确回答吗?
5.你能不能想起来,上一次看到或听到类似的故事发生在任何一个中国国家领导人身上吗?如果有,请举例说明.如果没有,请说明为什么.

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学习英文原版:(节选)

1.转载版1:

President who? Kid mistakes W for Washington

Buzz up!
Like this story? Share it with Yahoo! Buzz

It’s been just a little over a month since former President George W. Bush moved out of the White House and back home to Texas, and already some people don’t recognize him.

The former commander in chief popped up this morning at an elementary school in Dallas, sticking his head into classrooms here and there, The Morning News reports.

In one room, Bush asked: "Hey, kids, do you know who I am?"

The young ones all gasped. Then one answered, "George Washington!"

POTUS #43 did not miss a beat. “That’s right!” he said. "George Washington Bush!"


2. 转载版2 Bush pops into Pershing ES this morning


3. 原版: Welcome to your neighborhood school, Mr. President

10:49 AM Wed, Feb 25, 2009 | | Yahoo! Buzz

It was open house at Pershing Elementary this morning, a time when neighborhood parents in the Preston Hollow area check out the public school prospects for their children.

But the day's most prominent visitors didn't have any kids in tow. Only Secret Service.

George and Laura Bush have mostly been rumors and fleeting glimpses through the passenger windows of black Suburbans the last few weeks. But the kids got a first-hand look this morning when their new neighbors took a tour.

The Bushes were scheduled to visit three classes, but they ended up popping in on any room with an audience.

Ducking in one room, Bush asked, "Hey kids, do you know who I am?"

Gasps all around, and then someone blurted, "George Washington!"

"That's right!" the visitor said. "George Washington Bush!"

Well, the middle initial was the same, anyway.

A little later, at an ESL class, Bush tried introducing himself in Spanish. Only it was a little too West Texas for the Spanish speakers. He tried again. Blank looks. Even held up three fingers. You know, a 'W." Still nothing.

Finally, Pershing's innovative, energetic principal, Margie Hernandez, stepped in with a Spanish introduction.

Ohhhhhhh.

The kids laughed at the confusion. The former president laughed. The principal laughed, out of relief, mostly.


In a fourth-grade class, a student asked what he did as president to make the world a better place. Among other things, Bush cited aid to hungry children around the world and efforts to stress education, a theme for the day. In each class, he asked kids to make a commitment to spend more time reading than they spend watching TV. A few classes even took him up on it.

Once he finished his tour, he addressed a school assembly, where he related his favorite question of the morning:

"Why did you come here?"

Bush told the kids he came because he saw signs that welcomed him, and it made him feel good, and he wanted to say thanks. He then made some general observations, none more poignant than the first.

"You can be president," he said. "Can you believe that?"

We do now.

He asked for a show of hands as to how many kids wanted to go to college. A room full of arms shot into the air to applause from the adults on hand. He told them that meant they were setting goals for themselves, and if they set goals, they have to work hard to achieve them.

The kids seemed to take it to heart, anyway. Other than clapping, they hardly made a peep.

He told them it was just as important to listen to their teachers.

"I didn't always do that," he said, grimacing.

After his five-minute speech _ he turned to Laura once to ask if he left anything out _ he
thanked the kids, teachers and principal, then filed past the dignitaries, including the superintendent, Michael Hinojosa, and headed out to the hallway.

Outside he was presented with a book on presidents to be dedicated in his honor to the school library. Pershing's lovely PTA president handed him a couple of gift bags that included Pershing's extremely loud tie-dyed T-shirts, which are recognizable at 100 yards, at least.

When I suggested he wear one the next time he goes biking, he said he'd do that. In fact, he's checking out a trail this afternoon.

He thanked everyone for inviting him. He seemed to have such a good time that I told him we could use him for the Dad's Club Haunted House.

"I'd make a good ghost," he said, grinning.

Before the cadre of Secret Service agents swept him out the side door, I asked if he was going to spring training.

"Noooooo," was all he said.

Hope it wasn't something Tom Hicks said over the back fence.

Come back any time, Mr. President. Next time, make it a Monday. Chicken nugget day in the cafeteria. My kids recommend it highly.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

终于绿了

到今天,正式地,官方地,宣布,俺们全家,都绿了.

孩子他妈真不容易,自己的绿卡来时,兴奋过.等到儿子和俺的来时,还能保持一定的兴奋.对于俺和儿子的坦然处之还颇有微词.我们则解释说,我们的兴奋都已经贡献给了她的绿卡.

的确,当孩子他妈拿到时,我们作为家属,只不过是个时间问题了.当时,孩子他妈还颇为犹豫,不知是否应该再化两千块为我们父子去办.我回应说,这个吃过肉的就是不知道没吃肉的苦.她则说,这个吃上肉是迟早的事情,俺先富裕了,终究是要带你们一起富裕的.一直到后来,看着美国的移民政策天天在变,也不想再忍受我们父子,尤其是俺给的脸色.只好无可奈何地忍痛割腰包里的肉了.

算起来,全家为了绿卡前后化了近5000块,这个没钱律师,大概省了一万多块.然后就全部亏在了股市.然后外公就下结论了:上帝是公平的,心中有杆秤,不会让你太赚,也不会让你太亏.

我们外公最会说话.最会说正确的话.

这里也要感谢外公外婆,跟我们全家在一起,经历了许多我们家庭中的重要事情,从老大的出生,俺的博士毕业,全家去北京签证,直到来美国看着老二出生, 见证孩子他妈绿卡成功申请,到全家全部拿到绿卡.可谓是付出多多艰辛.说多少谢谢都不为过.特别是今天, 这里刮起龙卷大风,把家附近的电线都吹掉了,家里停电两小时,恰逢午饭时间,搞得老两口带一小的,没有热饭吃,这日子甭提有多艰苦了.幸好,这样的苦日子也不用再熬多久了.外公外婆马上就可以回去看到祖国的亲人朋友了.

预祝一路好走,我们最辛苦的,最伟大的,最英明的,外公外婆.

Monday, February 2, 2009

一个返老还童的父亲给女儿的箴言

希望自己将来也能对湘湘和娜娜妹妹说出这样的话。不需要他们成为所谓的孝子。希望他们能够成为他们自己想成为的人。一个健康的,快乐的,积极的,向上的人。我希望自己将来也能毫无愧疚地对他们说: 我很自豪,成为他们的父亲。我很自豪,他们是我的儿女。

我的父亲,您想留下怎么样的话给我呢?


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在为临终的母亲读本杰明留下的日记时候,慢慢地,本杰明的女儿终于发现本杰明就是他的亲生父亲,并且在她很小的时候就离开了她,只因为想让她过上一个正常的,有着一个能够跟她一起变老的父亲。不过,本杰明从来没有忘记过她,在他能够记得的时候,每年的生日,他都会寄明信片回来。他女儿正读着日记里留下的几张明信片:

1981, I was thirteen:

"I wish I could've told you not to chase some boy."

"I wish I could've held you when you had a broken heart."

"I wish I could've been your father."

"Nothing I ever did will replace that."

I guess he went to India.

For what it's worth, it's never to late,

or in my case, too early, to be whoever you want to be.

There is no time limit, start whenever you want.

You can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing.

We can make the best or the worst of it.

I hope you make the best of it.

And I hope you see things that startle you.

I hope you feel things you never felt before.

I hope you meet people with a different point of view.

I hope you live a life you're proud of.

If you find that you're not,

I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

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1981年,我13岁。

我希望我能告诉你有些男孩是不能追的。

我希望当你伤心的时候,我能拥抱你。

我希望,能够成为你的父亲。

这是我此生中最想做到的事情。

我猜他是去了印度。

永远都不要说太迟,只要它值得你付出

或者,象我一样,说太早,去成为任何你想成为的人

从来都没有什么时间的限制,从任何你想开始的时间开始

你可以选择改变,或不变,这里不存在什么规则。

我们或者做到最好,或最糟。

我希望你能够做到最好。

我希望你能看到的让你觉得震惊的事物。

希望你能感觉到那些你从来没感觉到的。

希望你能遇到与你观点不同的人们。

希望你能过一种你自己引以为豪的生活。

如果你发现自己过的不是这样的生活

我希望你有足够的力量,一切重头来过。

没有什么可以永恒

没有什么happy ending,虽然我已经知道他会慢慢变小,只没想到他会慢慢地忘记。有时候我曾对孩子他妈说,真希望有个办法把她变得小小的,可以无时不刻地把她带在身边。真想知道当黛西后来每天都带着baby面容的本杰明是一种什么样的感觉。是否也象带着自己每天都在慢慢长的小孩那样带着爱呢。爱能永恒么?

却看到有个网友评论的题目说:试想父母成为婴儿形态离我们而去。想想似乎并不算太坏。或许这种情况下的孝子反而对些?可这部电影根本就不是演绎父母或小孩的呀。这位网友也够雷人的。

那个反映印度的贫民窟的百万富翁,大家都说好看。网络上的评分也相当高。身边的同事每个看过的都反应甚佳。除了那个印度佬同事则说电影是好电影,但感觉不是太好,因为反映的印度阴暗面太多。当她说这话时,我不仅笑了:听了好熟悉不过。跟当今许多爱国青年的反映是一样的。只可惜,我愣是静不下心来看完。


所以,最佳电影,要我投票,就只有投给本杰明了。

在昨天看的国内D版中,其中一个字幕编辑的名字叫: 看三次哭三次。于我心有戚戚焉。

刚看到一个花絮说,布拉德·皮特的小女儿在本片串演了小角色,出演本杰明和黛西的女儿。没认出是哪个。





谁是本杰明.巴顿?

几乎每个人,如果不是所有的人,包括我自己,都幻想着要是人能够长生不老,永葆青春,那该多好.如果你现在还有这样的想法,那么就只好强烈推荐看另外一部片子,叫做 (本杰明.巴顿奇异人生) The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. 国内翻译很多,我比较喜欢这个片名的翻译.

至少我自己,还在前第一个小时,听到如此雷人的对话时候,就已然觉得这个长生不老的梦想终究哪里有点不对劲了.那是本杰明7,8岁的时候,一个养老院的老太给他理发时说:人都要死的,否则你怎么知道他们对你如此重要呢?

该片长近三个小时.等到昨晚看到近12点,当越来越年轻的却已经50多岁的男主人公深情地看着同样年龄却无法掩饰岁月老去的并已成为他人之妇的自己老婆的时候,说:我一直以来都深爱着你.我那是胸腔共鸣,鼻涕和眼泪同飞.突然之间,片子就到此嘎然而止.气得我忍不住骂这没有水平的枪版D版:连D版都做不好,还出来混什么混呀!@#$% 无奈之下,只好爬起来,关掉电脑,擦干眼泪,洗掉鼻涕,上床睡觉.

却怎么也睡不着.到今早开车的时候,一路上,脑袋里,都是停格在那被卡住的画面.寻思着,怎么也得找个完整版去看完.没别的,就是想知道到底会是个怎样的happy ending.

我终于明白人为什么有时要不求同日生,但求同日死了.中文不是有首歌曲也是如是唱么:我想到的最浪漫的事,就是和你一起慢慢变老. 我也对孩子他妈讲过, 此生已足,下半辈子,就希望跟她一起慢慢变老,最好最后一起走掉.不过,我这是居心不良,谁都知道如今女性长命比男的多得多,我这种要求看是蛮爱情,其实 与谋杀没什么区别.到时孩子他妈或许还不急着走,人家的第二春才刚刚开始呢.


IMTB上,这部片子得分要比革命之路高,是8.4分.专业人士的意见也是雷同,目前已获得13项奥斯卡提名,包括最佳影片,最佳导演,最佳男主角等.这个男主角(brad pitt)其实值得一提,他和我最喜欢和最敬佩的女演员(angelina jolie)是夫妇.这对夫妇不仅演技出众,慈善也做得很好.两人领养了4个第三世界的儿童,自己最近还生了双胞胎.



正好,今天也有个牛博贴了评论出来, zt一下:

很好看很精致的电影,将近三个小时,丝毫没觉得长。

出生时是老头,临终前是婴儿,一个时间倒流的故事。但看起来没有觉得特别怪异的地方,都不过是一个人由出生到慢慢衰老到死亡的过程,外表如何无关紧要。孩童时的本杰明老态龙钟,但眼神清澈透明;年过花甲的本杰明青春靓丽,但眼神历尽沧桑。

时间无论流向怎样,总是单调,有限。而世界是平的,多彩,无限。所以永远“有人做纽扣,有人读莎士比亚,有人是艺术家,有人游泳,有人跳舞”。所以风生,水起,流过倒着走的时钟,又雪逝,冰消。

周末的影院人满为患,奇怪的是前后左右都是一对对的老年夫妇。影片结束后朋友说:“我真想知道他们在想什么?”我不知道他们在想什么,但邻近结尾的时候,我看见前排的老先生在抹眼泪。

十几年前看漫画《风云》的时候就知道,世界上最恶毒的诅咒莫过于只有你一个人永远不老。

==================================================

对白中有不少“深南方”口音,听得我头大。不过不止我有这麻烦,美国人民也有。总是听见前后左右有人在小声问:“说什么?”,跟着就有人小声重复一遍,然后我也就豁然开朗了。:)

奥斯卡颁奖前是观影旺季,下一场去掂量一下《摔跤手》,看看他有没有实力和我心中已稳坐影帝的老尼克松叫板。

革命路,人生路

周末在家生病,躺在床上啥事也不用干,蛮好的借口.就把两场电影给看了.准确地说是一场和一场大半.星期五晚上看了"革命路".星期六早上孩子他妈给我闲聊,问我看了什么.这个片子10个人看,10个人不同的答案.讲不清楚的.这不,当天晚上,还特意上豆瓣网去看看其他观众对此有什么反映.我就问孩子他妈:这个,你知道冰海沉船么?(具体的片名一时没想起来)就是那个船在海上碰冰了沉掉了?孩子他妈很是聪明:你是指泰坦尼克? 我忙回答是呀.就是有其中的男女主角一起演的这个片子.导演是美国丽人的导演. 我也不清楚孩子他妈知不知道美国丽人.我的意思就是想说,有了这样的导演,有了这两个演员.这个片子就已然说明问题了.发生这个对话的时候,孩子他妈正在看小说, 我说你真是有精神. 她回答说,好不容易才休息一下.一边看还一边感慨小说中的女主角都不用上班,天天在家,只需要男欢女爱就可以了.我就笑了,跟她说,其实吧,象你如此羡慕做家庭主妇的,还真再找不到比"革命路"更合适的电影了.看了,你就知道为什么了.


这次奥斯卡是三项提名,不过跟男女主角都没什么关系. 感觉他俩其实演得都蛮好的.这部上世纪60年代的小说,可以发生在任何一个时代有男人有女人有家庭的故事中. 豆瓣网上有篇还算不错的评论.不过建议千万可别看.看了就失去自己的思想了:-)

推荐必看的人群:

胸怀大志却感觉碌碌无为的男人
不甘心在家伺候老公小孩的女人
有许多梦想却不知该如何实现的男人或女人
曾经出轨,正在出轨和想着出轨的男人或女人
热恋中非你不娶非你不嫁的有志男女青年
新婚夫妇
结婚7年的中年男女
所有在现实和理想间徘徊和挣扎的人们


精彩对白之一:

APRIL: It didn't have to be Paris. I wanted in. I just wanted us to live again. For years I thought we shared a secret...that we would be wonderful in the world. I didn't exactly know how, but just the possibility...kept me hoping. How pathetic is that? To put all your hopes in a promise that was never made? See, Frank knows...he knows what he wants. He's found his place. He's just fine. Married, two kids. It should be enough. It is for him. He's right; we were never special or destined or anything at all. I saw a whole other future. I can't stop seeing it. Can't leave, can't stay. No damn use to anyone.

---(原创翻译:-) 不一定非得是巴黎.我就是想去个什么地方.我就是想让我们重新再活一次.多少年来,我以为我们共享着一个秘密: 这这个世界上, 我们能够活出精彩. 我不知道该如何实现,但就是这种可能性一直让我保持希望. 这很是让人可怜,是吧? 把你所有的希望寄存于一个重来没有机会实现的诺言里? 你看,Frank他就知道,他知道什么是他想要的. 他找到了自己的立身之所. 他容易满足现实. 娶个老婆,生两个小孩.对他而言, 依然足够. 这就是他想要的. 他说的没错, 我们就从来不是什么特别的,我们就是一普普通通的小人物而已. 我却看到了另一个将来. 我无法控制自己不去看. 无法离开,也呆不下去. 整个一无是处.


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跟孩子他妈这么多年一起来,也算是风风雨雨,欢欢乐乐,什么滋味都曾有过. 两人也多次互相追问彼此之间还有没有爱情. 每次妈妈自己的回答都是这样的: 我就是知道自己想要什么. 我就笑了:除了从来没想过自己的老公会是现在这个模样:既不高大,也不英俊.

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Revolutionary Road(革命之路)


导  演 萨姆·门德斯 Sam Mendes
主  演 莱昂纳多·迪卡普里奥 Leonardo DiCaprio....Frank Wheeler
      凯特·温丝莱特 Kate Winslet....April Wheeler